“Just wondering if you’ve ever felt someone else, rip your heart out put it in the fire, just to watch it melt, cause that’s how I feel, I hope you come back, so I don’t suffer from another snack attack.”—The Midnight Beast
Hi, Today, I’m happy. I can’t explain it. I don’t even know why. I think it’s because, everything is alright. I’m alright. The summer is here. My friends are closer than we have been in ages and things are just going about aswell as they could be, my blog this time last week told the opposite story but right now, things are just about as happy as they could be. This is also due to the fact I’m starting to grow the fuck up. I don’t get jealous of stupid things anymore. I don’t get sad over stupid things (as much) and I really don’t care about some of the things that used to really bother me.
I hope it stays like this all summer. I can’t think of any way to make it better.
Hey, today, will hopefully be the last of this weeks depressing blogs. But, maybe not, they are just so fun to write and make me feel so much better. The 8-bit collection of pokemon and sonic songs on my ipod aren’t cheering me up as much now. I don’t really know what to do now. I could find my nintendo ds or gameboy colour and actually start playing pokemon, but then that involves effort of actually finding my gameboy, which is somewhere under my bed. Why is it a gameboy?! I’m a girl. :(
So… the whole situation that got me down the most recently is better, well as better as it could be given what I did. Yet, I remain completely broken about it. Like really guilty. Why did I do it?! To my favouritest person in the world aswell! Who I love more than everything and compared to them everything is nothing! So now, I’m a broken Zo with very little idea what to do. I feel so so awful. I just want to curl up and die.
Everything upsets me, my best friends facebooks, feeling left out, absolutely everything has something that makes me really sad. Things that wouldn’t usually bother me are making me really sad, I mean I wouldn’t usually care about things people might have said about me but now it feels like the end of the world. Maybe it is the end of the world I don’t even know anymore.
Favourite Colour: Powder Blue Favourite Fizzy Drink: COCA COLA (With Cherry) Favourite Place: London Favourite Food: Cinnamon Grahams. Omnomnom. Favourite Celebrity: Craig Charles Favourite Book: To Kill A Mockingbird Favourite Hobbies: Old school nintendo gaming, Facebook. Favourite Subject: Probably Health and Social Care? Favourite Game: Pokemon Gold Favourite Board Game: Snakes and Ladders Favourite Electronics: Gameboy, Gamecube, Wii, Computer, Nintendo DS. Favourite President: How the fuck should I know? Favourite Holiday: Menorca 2004 Favourite Movie: Peggy Sue Got Married Favourite Song: Peggy Sue Got Married- Buddy Holly Favourite Kind of Music: Nintendocore, 8-bit and chiptune. Oh and some emo songs. Favourite Icecream flavour: Mint Choco-Chip! Favourite Website: Facebook Favourite Candy: Parma Violets omnomnom. Favourite T.V. Show: Casualty Favourite Sport: Ew. Favourite Sports Team: No Idea. Favourite Pet: Cat. Miaow. Favourite Animal: Panda Favourite Fast Food Restaurant: McDonalds (Breakfast is best!) Favourite Restaurant: Probably the one in Menorca that did the ace chocolate brownie.
All I can say is. Who in the world needs drugs and alcohol to forget problems? Recently, to overcome my emotional pain, I have dowloaded the original sonic soundtrack, the sonic heroes soundtrack and the pokemon gold/silver/crystal soundtrack. Who needs to get drunk or high to get rid of past mistakes? You only have to know some good music to really bring back memories of being 5 and hey presto your mistakes are easily forgotten.
Unfortunately, I don’t think I should really continue indulging in retro game music in order to forget my problems, though I must admit. It’s very good! Especially pokemon gold music, that brings back memories of living in the middle of nowhere, not having any problems, or any friends and just living my live as a pokemon trainer in the corner of my bedroom. Times were simple.
Is it normal to get rid of your problems like that? Probably not. Well this week is still turning out to be the worst and it really isn’t getting any better, It’s painful. Well, My Health and Social care coursework deadline was today but I think I’ve been saved but nevertheless trying to print it all off and sort it all out today was insane. Also, I had a biology exam this morning, which I found out about only half way through the exam. FML.
I’m still not sure about the sitch that occured at the weekend, I think it’ll be ok. I’m not sure if I will be though, I get really screwed up over the tiniest of things, I really thought I was doing ok in comparison to lets say November- February, those months were really tough.
I’m gonna list my favourite things about pokemon- - Since I got pokemon gold on christmas morning 2002? I have been obsessed with pokemon and wanted pokemon to be real. If pokemon were real I would be a pokemon trainer no doubt about it.
- I love snorlax. It’s like my fave pokemon in the world. I just want one as my bed. I nearly put in my bed. Rough.
- I own so many pokemon games for gameboy colour, nintedo ds, gamecube and gameboy advance. I love them all. Ruby/ Gold were my two favourites because they are the ones I spent over 300 hours on each. Over 300, what the fuck was I doing with my life?
- I love all the films aswell. Going to see them at the cinema always made me happy, Aswell as the smell of popcorn, nomnomnom.
I'm bored, what a perfect excuse to talk about crap.
Howdy groovy peoples of the interweb, I haven’t updated this in a while and I really feel I should update my 9 keen followers on my thoughts over the past few weeks. Erm, It’s been pretty rollercoaster like, some highs and some lows and possibly even a few loops! I’m right in the middle of what feels like 100 gcse exams so I’m going to try and keep this very short and very snappy.
I’ve recently discovered that loads of the people who I thought were lovely are actually pricks. Which although was disappointing, sooner rather than later was the best time to find out.
I’ve been having some seriously weird dreams. With the strangest people appearing, some of these strange people who are currently often popping up in my dreams are Mr Canicio, Miss Lintilac, Jude and various girls from school.
I’ve really failed a few of my exams, I wrote an apology letter on the end of one of them! And cried in another. My candidate number has become like a second name!
I’ve discovered a pure love for the sweets that look like a slice of watermelon, they are amazing.
Supposedly, I’ve just got one of those personalities that everyone can get on with but nobody can truly love. I can’t decide if that was a nice thing to say or not? Ah well.
Sorry this was so short, maths calculator exam tomorrow and I just can’t fail it, I feel I did well on the non-calculator, wouldn’t want to ruin it with a fail score on the next one. :)